Just gimme a call.
From Walter Reed National Military Medical Center.
And it starts off simple enough, but then it just slowly builds. You can feel it getting larger. The questions. The why.
About 5:00 today I got a call from the scheduler for the neurosurgery clinic. Dr. Davidson has an opening and would like me to come in tomorrow for a wound check at noon. Was I available?
Simple question. And simple answer: yes. Trust me, I'll clear my schedule. And then just some bits about where to park and where the clinic is. And then we hang up.
But now...now the questions start to build...
Is this really just a wound check?
Do they have the pathology report?
Do they need me to come in immediately?
Seriously - is "wound check" just a ruse, something to sound menial and trivial and not get me too anxious? Why does a neurosurgeon need to check my stitches? A second year resident can do that.
What if I had said no, that I was busy? Would they then have made it more urgent?
What if I had asked for the path report? What would she have said? Why was she calling me at 5:00 while the doc was still in surgery?
And so it builds. And with each crashing wave more questions arise. "Should I bring a bag of clothes just in case?"
"Should we call to make sure our friends can pick up Teddy tomorrow, just in case?"
"When my parents call in an hour, should I ask them to drive up tomorrow, just in case?"
Just...in...case...
You may be overthinking. Would it be any different for you if they said "the path report came back, we want you to come in for a consult"? Would you do anything differently today or tomorrow...? The parents' drive maybe--but they're still here just a few hours away, and would probably be able to come by shortly on any news--right?
ReplyDeleteI'm trying to remember how this all played out with my mom's cancer some years ago. I don't think the docs pulled any funny stuff. I don't know how typical Mom's docs were, though: thank God I don't have a lot of comparative experience.
Either way, thoughts and prayers continue...
I have to be honest and say I would be freaking out, too. And the questions never come to you when you're talking to the person, only later. Hopefully you're getting some reassurances from your medically-minded friends.
ReplyDeleteThen again, I over think flu shots and psych myself out for minor appointments. Some day I will grow up. Maybe.
> And the questions never come to you when you're talking to the person, only later.
ReplyDeleteOkay, this reminds me of one thing that would be helpful.
Bring a tape recorder. Record any consult visits. There's a lot of detail in what the doc may say that you won't get on the first pass. And if you ever do get bad news, your head will be spinning badly enough that you won't remember anything else that was said, even if it's really important.
Then listen to it at home with a notepad. And bring the pad the next time you talk to the doc and make sure you ask him all your questions (... again, on tape ...)