Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?

Because believe me, I'm sleeping about 16 hours a day right now.

Okay, so this blog obviously ain't getting a daily update. But really, I view that as a good thing. I mean, really, that's actually quite awesome.

That means that we're slowly, somewhat, returning to normal. There's nothing big and huge and burning that *NEEDS* to be updated immediately. Well, that, and there's always the Book of Faces. Which is, to be honest, about my entire audience. But this is up and out there in the ether, waiting to be stumbled upon years later by some other person with a brain tumor, who's been referred over by a friend-of-a-friend saying "See? You're not the only one!" And all that jazz.

With that, I again do refer over to the blog that helped me - The Everywhereist. Oddly, since being referred over by the aforementioned "friend-of-a-friend" (who actually *IS* just one degree of separation away), I've since heard from other friends who don't know her (personally), but do read her blog and sent me her way. Okay, holy smokes, ANYWAY... about 6 months ago, she (Geraldine, the author of The Everywhereist) posted her own list of "20 Things You Can Expect After Brain Surgery."

And, well, really, she nailed it. I mean, home run. It was cool that I read it *ahead* of my brain surgery (well, the second time), so I was a little more prepared for the side effects. Oh, and I really do want to take a minute to do some major self-bragging about one thing.

When it comes to jokes, I. Did. It. I nailed it. I am probably more shocked than anyone else, especially anyone who's ever been under general anesthesia, but I went into the OR with one mantra floating in my head. One goal. One single desire. And I have no f'ing clue how on earth it actually worked, but a few hours later, while still lost in the haze and the fog that is anesthesia and, uh, BRAIN SURGERY, while just barely conscious, my loving, amazing, beautiful, rock-solid pregnant wife spoke to me...and I replied...IN FRENCH.

Yeah. Totally nailed that joke.

It was made even better by a few things on the side.

1. I don't speak French. Really don't. I looked up a few key phrases ahead of time.
2. That's not to say I never took French. I took a whole semester of it in 2nd grade.
3. My mother apparently forgot Fact #2, so when Laura told her, she replied with "But he's never taken French!"
4. The one downfall is that one of my nurses, apparently, *did* speak French. So my joke was undone very quickly.

Yup, that's me. And anyone who knows me shouldn't be surprised in the least. I go in for brain surgery, round two, to remove a grape-sized tumor, involving multiple holes being drilled into my head, using a booger-picking device to create a channel through perfectly good brain (no that is NOT debatable!), and the *one* thing I think to focus on is making sure I speak in French to my wife the second I wake up, purely as a joke.

I did take 3 years of Spanish in high school, and a full year (two semesters) of Russian in college. So I do see how my mom could've easily forgotten about something I took 28 years ago. Especially in the middle of wrangling Teddy and making dinner and doing all the super-awesome things my parents did while they were in town.

So, yeah. Still here. Alive, mostly. Another appointment tomorrow, and the Coast Guard needs their own follow-up in a week or so. That one's just kinda funny because, while I *do* recognize that the Coast Guard needs to follow-up with their own members, for continuity's sake, does anyone think that my Public Health Service O-4 general practitioner is going to step in and be like "No. You know, I realize your MRIs and surgery plan has been seen and reviewed by multiple TEAMS of doctors over at Walter Reed, but I really think your treatment plan should instead be....." Yeah, she ain't going to. I know she's not - she's actually a pretty good doc like that. (Even if I did admit in a recent post I didn't know who she was.) It's a rubber stamp appointment.

But it does, finally, give Laura the chance to see the new CGHQ building.